Breaking point

I cannot recall the day I broke. I have a vague recollection of moments, but I was disassociating terribly so I am not sure if they belong to that day or if it’s spillover from that week.

Actually, broke is not strong enough a word. I shattered into a million pieces, dead by a thousands cuts. Cuts by people who claimed to love me, claimed to protect me, claimed to keep me safe. Maybe their intention was not to cut me, maybe it was - that is theirs to figure out. I can talk about my feelings - there were a thousand cuts and my mind shattered.

I was at my lowest and was absolutely alone. Something solidified in me after that day. While I always knew I had a hyper-independent streak, it crystallized in me that people are going to fail me. That day I realized I am my own support system, I can and will lean on own my inner strength for my journey of life.

This turning point in 2021 got me on a journey to heal my trauma, help me inner child process all the immense pains, abuse, and cruelty caused by adults around, and to believe in myself. I started therapy seriously, found an amazing Therapist and turned my life around. 2 months later, I joined a ceramic hand-building class and ceramics became my primary anchor for healing through art and color therapy.